What I Learned in 2023
JANUARY 9, 2024 KIMBERLY ROTTET
A look back on 2023 and a letter to myself.
Just because I journal daily does not mean I am reflecting enough to get the most out of the practice. That sentiment is one that has resonated with me as I started my 2024 journal. I looked back at my 2023 moleskine journals and read some of the passages. Several I read seemed rant filled, as opposed to actually being reflective. And that stuck with me. Getting it out or ranting about something in a journal is important, but I found myself frequently missing the reflection piece.
With that in mind, I purchased a new journal late in 2023 with the intent to practice more meaningful reflection after getting something out.
This learning and reminder moment for me than prompted some reflection about other things I learned or reminded myself of in 2023.
With that - this is a letter to myself thinking about 10 lessons I reminded myself of in 2023.
LESSON 1: Late in the 2023 calendar year I stumbled upon a new podcast. Fried: The Burnout Podcast. As I was listening to this new (to me) podcast, I learned or more specifically, acknowledged where I was in the difference between Burnout Prevention vs. Burnout Recovery. I know I wanted to think I was making ends meet in regards to burnout prevention. But I had to acknowledge I was failing miserably, and full on in the need of burnout recovery practices. This self help is on-going.
LESSON 2: While I am not where I want to be emotionally and from a mental health perspective, I am far more resilient that I give myself credit for. I’m not going to dive to far into the details; I know what they are. I know where I am and I know where I want to go.
LESSON 3: Addiction to stress is real. I’m not referring to drama type of stress, but projects; things to do; a motivation or focus type of stress. And it can be good stress too, but much of it can be challenging. But addiction to stress is a real thing.
LESSON 4: Your environment controls my mood. This is obviously not a new learned item, but more so a reminder for me in terms of how much my environment feeds my mood. When I leave “my spaces” I need to do a better job of bringing something small to make that space more comforting to me. This should help improve my mood in an environment that is frustrating to me.
LESSON 5: Keep documenting. Continue documenting the meaningful moments. But also keep documenting the stuff that is not as pleasant. Your brain is or feels full most of the time, making focusing more challenging. Writing and documenting helps your focus, and it gives you a base to stand on in future conversations. This is particular important when you are documenting the stuff that is not as pleasant.
LESSON 6: Downsizing was tough - with the house. But, it was really good for your mental health. The act of getting rid of things you no longer needed, and moving into the RV was good for you. You are fortunate. This was a decision you got to make - you chose to make - to continue to set yourselves up for your long term financial future. That motivation was also good for you. And you continue to appreciate the simpler RV Life. You miss your home, but you have those memories, and a better chance now to build that comfort again in the geographic region you both will call your retirement location.
LESSON 7: The downsizing leads me to this next important reminder. People won’t get it. But it isn’t for them to get. Don’t worry about bothering to explain it. You know what your goals are. You both are working to go get them. Keep going.
LESSON 8: Sometimes your supporters in life encourage you, but when you reach a level of strength that makes those supporters uncomfortable, that can lead to those supporters telling you that you changed or that they demonstrate that your few found strength makes them uncomfortable. They might start getting more defensive with you or stop supporting you all together. That’s fine. Keep going.
LESSON 9: Boundaries are not wants. They are needs. And don’t let anyone try to negotiate you away from those needs. They will get over it or they won’t. That’s their call. You need to tend to your needs.
LESSON 10: Your self worth is no longer tied to your work or a title. People won’t get that, but again, that isn’t for them to get. People could try to tie this mental and emotional freedom to a loss of passion for your work. That’s not necessarily the case. You still show up every day with the intent to leave work a little better than the way you found it each day. Keep doing that, but at least now when you go home, barring some emergency; you are getting better at not hashing out the dramatic details of your work day. Keep improving at this sentiment.
Is anything I have shared groundbreaking? No. But sometimes as a means of continued self help we have to take the time to sift through the stuff we have learned - as to hopefully not go back down a rabbit hole I don’t want to be in or struggling with. These reminders help us remember improvements we have made. As we write these things down or as we write our struggles down, the act of putting them to paper or out loud to others can be a vulnerable practice. But I am also pretty sure that there are others who learned similar lessons, reminders that we are not alone in this learning is sometimes helpful.
